- oops! my knowledge of dutch is lacking. the word I use in the post below does not mean what i made it out to mean, but I decided to leave it as is anyway!-
Instead of blogging I've been doing more chatting on facebook, catching up with old friends. I'm rude, I just up and ask people what they've been doing and what choices have they made. It's so interesting to see how peoples lives have turned out! I'd love to do some kind of project, get everybody to tell their life story so we can see what we've all become.
I'm not going to the reunion, and I've reconciled to that fact I think. Part of me was terrified of going as well. Because although I have wonderful memories, it's not like going back in time and reliving it all! People change, I've changed. And seeing everybody could also turn out to be painful in a way.
And another reason is the fact that I'm "lichtgeraakt". Lichtgeraakt literally means lightly touched, or impressionable perhaps? I had this feeling that if I did go back I would end up with a huge crush on somebody. Because that's what I did back then, develop huge crushes and date a lot! And I loved it :-). So going back to familiar people would probably bring back familiar feelings....
Have to smile at myself. Here I am, a 37 year old married woman, talking about crushes. It's my inner 18 year old putting in an appearance.
I have noticed though, that people tend te revert to old behavior when put into "old" circumstances. When I go visit my parents I'm a bit of a different person than when I'm here at home. Herman used to regress when we visited his parents, drove me nuts! Until I figured out I was doing it as well ;-). Just today I was talking to a 62 year old friend about this. Even at her age, family habits die hard.
A reunion might just be a feeding ground for regression as well. Though ideally, it could also be a place to see the person you once were, be the person you are now, and a place to treasure memories and build new ones.
Now I wish I was going anyway!
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Ruminating
Last night I was ruminating on whether or not to chuck this blog completely and just ignore facebook for a while. Because it seems I have nothing to say.
Thoughts aplenty in this tired head of mine, but nothing seems to be coming out that is worth really putting down into words. Guess I'm kind of tied up in the business of work and the trials and tribulations of life in general.
Over the last year or so, a lot of what I have written has come from looking at my life through "strangers eyes", wondering what someone who is not me would make of things. Looking at life that way has offered new perspective and made even the most mundane things seem bloggable. But lately I only seem to be able to look through my own eyes, making life seem terribly dull and definately not worth writing about.
This morning however, I did receive an encouraging word through facebook and it gave me a wee boost. So I walked through the market this morning realizing that that is really quite unique and picturesque and possibly bloggable! There was a nice tang in the air, and the market was not busy yet. I went to the bread stall and got some loaves of fresh bread to put into the freezer back home. All the bread, cookies and cakes spread out made a pretty site. Even the raw fish laid out on slabs of ice has it's appeal at 8.30 in the morning (not much appeal, but a little!).
I'm hoping my tired head will cease to pound and room for creativity will come back. Because really, blogging has been a very rewarding experience, one that I have really enjoyed and want to keep enjoying!
Thoughts aplenty in this tired head of mine, but nothing seems to be coming out that is worth really putting down into words. Guess I'm kind of tied up in the business of work and the trials and tribulations of life in general.
Over the last year or so, a lot of what I have written has come from looking at my life through "strangers eyes", wondering what someone who is not me would make of things. Looking at life that way has offered new perspective and made even the most mundane things seem bloggable. But lately I only seem to be able to look through my own eyes, making life seem terribly dull and definately not worth writing about.
This morning however, I did receive an encouraging word through facebook and it gave me a wee boost. So I walked through the market this morning realizing that that is really quite unique and picturesque and possibly bloggable! There was a nice tang in the air, and the market was not busy yet. I went to the bread stall and got some loaves of fresh bread to put into the freezer back home. All the bread, cookies and cakes spread out made a pretty site. Even the raw fish laid out on slabs of ice has it's appeal at 8.30 in the morning (not much appeal, but a little!).
I'm hoping my tired head will cease to pound and room for creativity will come back. Because really, blogging has been a very rewarding experience, one that I have really enjoyed and want to keep enjoying!
Blogging without posting
I've been doing some blogging without posting, which is surprisingly effective for the communication in the house, but not so effective outside of it.
I read this quote the other day on Conversion Diary . It's from a book called bird by bird, which I have not read! But this quote about writing grabbed my attention.
"If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don't worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it."
It grabbed my attention because I love writing like that! When I write from real emotion the words flow and I'm almost surprised at what I write sometimes, at the ease with which it appears on paper (or the internet) :-).
But it also means that some of my writing is for home use only, not available for public consumption. And so it has been lately.
A blog filled with shallow posts.
Bear with me!
I read this quote the other day on Conversion Diary . It's from a book called bird by bird, which I have not read! But this quote about writing grabbed my attention.
"If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don't worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it."
It grabbed my attention because I love writing like that! When I write from real emotion the words flow and I'm almost surprised at what I write sometimes, at the ease with which it appears on paper (or the internet) :-).
But it also means that some of my writing is for home use only, not available for public consumption. And so it has been lately.
A blog filled with shallow posts.
Bear with me!
Blogging
I have not been a faithful blogger lately. I have made do with answering questions, or not writing at all, or very little. To be honest, the lack of comments has been demotivating me. Makes me wonder if I should be paying more attention to my content as wise bloggers say you should do. Not that I have ever had a ton of comments, but I crave feedback in all kinds of shapes and forms! And sometimes the lack of it makes me forget that I like writing, even if it is about boring and mundane things. And I guess that my life has been feeling rather boring and mundane lately, which is also not conducive to creative writing. I find myself having to think a lot harder about things to write, instead of my writing in my head all day long!
Now I'm going to try to do a month of gratitude, posting something I'm happy about every day. It may be tagged on to a post which is miserable and gloomy, but I am really going to try!
Today I'm grateful for a jaunt in the town center with Marinda. Sinterklaas arrived today, which meant the center was crowded with moms and dads carrying little zwarte pieten on their shoulders. There was the smell of oliebollen in the air, and the stores were crowded with people buying the first presents needed to put in their childrens shoes.
As did I. Actually I already have some gifts stored away for putting in the shoes. Tonight, before they go to bed, I will again threaten the children with no gift if they don't sing at least one Sinterklaas song. We have to keep some form of tradition going here!!
Now I'm going to try to do a month of gratitude, posting something I'm happy about every day. It may be tagged on to a post which is miserable and gloomy, but I am really going to try!
Today I'm grateful for a jaunt in the town center with Marinda. Sinterklaas arrived today, which meant the center was crowded with moms and dads carrying little zwarte pieten on their shoulders. There was the smell of oliebollen in the air, and the stores were crowded with people buying the first presents needed to put in their childrens shoes.
As did I. Actually I already have some gifts stored away for putting in the shoes. Tonight, before they go to bed, I will again threaten the children with no gift if they don't sing at least one Sinterklaas song. We have to keep some form of tradition going here!!
Blogging
I took a drastic step once we got the internet going at our house again. I reduced the list of blogs I read by at least a half. During my internet "dry spell" I didn't really keep up with them and felt the pressure of the lists of posts that were piling up in my reader. And when I took a good hard look at half the stuff I read it just didn't seem very important any more. So the list of blogs I read now has a lot of people I know personally and like to keep up with, and some blogs that are so good to read that they will probably be on my list for a long long time.
Personal favorite? Stukje bij Beetje. A dutch woman who writes every post in english and dutch. Her photography and her way with words always gives me a moment of stillness in what usually is a busy day. Check her out!
But I'm still open for suggestions! So if you have a favorite blog, let me know what it is so I can go check it out. After all, I now have all this extra time on my hands, now that my list of things to read has shrunk so much ;-)
Personal favorite? Stukje bij Beetje. A dutch woman who writes every post in english and dutch. Her photography and her way with words always gives me a moment of stillness in what usually is a busy day. Check her out!
But I'm still open for suggestions! So if you have a favorite blog, let me know what it is so I can go check it out. After all, I now have all this extra time on my hands, now that my list of things to read has shrunk so much ;-)
One year
One year ago I started this blog.I'm smiling at the thought.
One year ago I decided blogging would be fun. I still remember my first enthousiasm and the pleasure that I had writing my posts. And I just love the fact that it's still fun!
I found a meme which might be appropriate for this bloggiversary of mine:
Write about 5 specific ways blogging has affected you, either positively or negatively.
1. My world has become a bigger place: Sharing about my life has made me much more aware of it. I'm aware of the perks of living here, of the differences in how other people live. I live vicariously through other blogs, and love seeing comments on my own posts. I have "friends" that I didn't have before, and have gotten back in touch with old friends and know more about their lives than I ever knew before. And all this through either blogging or through reading other blogs.
2. My blog is a dumping ground: you name it, I write about it. I love the freedom of ranting and raving, being introspective, happy, joyful, surprised or whatever. It's a wonderful place that is MINE!
3. Blogging helps me define myself: by writing about my life I'm so much more conscious of it. It's harder to just let life pass me by in a blur when I sit down regularly and think about it. I like to think that blogging has helped me become more me.
4. Posterity: Is it appallingly arrogant of me to want to feel that I have left a mark on the world? Though I know that there are thousands and thousands of blogs out there... mine is there too! It feels like an accomplishment, this writing of mine.....
5. A downside? Maybe the time that it costs?? Especially the reading of other blogs ;-)
Thanks you all, for bothering to read this little blog. I appreciate it more than you know!!
Dread
I'm getting off to a wonderful start when one of my first posts after my vacation is entitled "dread". Nevertheless, that is what I am feeling at the prospect of going to work tomorrow.Dread.
Hmm.
Well, if there's one thing that I have learned from my husband it is that things will fall into place sooner or later, and that things are never quite as bad as I can make them out to be. Sooooooo.
Meanwhile.... have you noted my new look? Any critical comments to make? Or nice things to say? EH????
My New Look, otherwise known as "Ode to Renzo"
Renzo totally pimped my blog.I love it!
Do you?
I'm spending the last weekend of my vacation at Renzo's house. I wish he still had his site up, so I could link you through to it. Working on the computer is only one of his many talents. He also made a curry that made my tastebuds leap with joy and he painted the selfportrait you can see on the right.
When I'm with Renzo, I get pampered and spoiled, a lovely experience that I recommend to everyone!
I spent a lot of my time reading Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. Wow, that's one heck of a book! Meanwhile Renzo was sweating away behind the computer, tweaking and tweaking and tweaking some more in order to create my new look.
See the logo in the right hand corner? Renzo made it for me a couple of years ago when I was looking for new jobs. I still use the logo on the letters I send. I love it because of the primary colors and the figures in it. I see myself in each one of the figures. Sometimes I'm the individual on the outside of the group. Sometimes I'm the one bridging the gap between the group and the individual, and sometimes I'm just a group member.
We used the colors as the basis for the rest of the blog.
I can't believe how much work it took though! We (or I should say Renzo) even tried a little sidetrack to Wordpress but then logistics forced us back to blogger.
I'm feeling ready for writing again. Looking forward to getting back on track. I missed the blogging enough during my break to make me realize it's not a fad, it's something I really enjoy doing! And this new look is a lovely incentive to keep on going :-)
Do let me know what you think of the new look, and be fulsome in your praises. I will send them on to Renzo....
p.s. please note the fact that my labels are all prefaced by a little tulip!!
Tiny Update
I think this is just about the longest time I've gone without blogging since I started about ten months ago (I guess I've got a blogiversary coming up!). It's been good. I've enjoyed having the pressure off and having a bit more creative juice flowing.
Creative may be too big a word, but I have felt ideas popping up into my head a little bit more frequently lately. But even so, I've decided to stick to my break for the duration of my vacation and then I hope to start again with a whole new look. Keep your eyes peeled!
Creative may be too big a word, but I have felt ideas popping up into my head a little bit more frequently lately. But even so, I've decided to stick to my break for the duration of my vacation and then I hope to start again with a whole new look. Keep your eyes peeled!
Blogs I like to read
I havn't updated the list of blogs I like to read in the longest time. I thought I would do it now, with an added explanation of why I like them. These are the blogs of strangers. I also read friends blogs, but will not mention those here. I hasten to add that this list is in no way complete. I read more blogs than I like to admit and am always on the look-out for new ones!!A touch of dutch: very informative about dutch culture, habits and mannerisms. If you want to know more about Holland, check it out!
A very very recent discovery, Stukje bij Beetje. She writes in dutch and english! I have no idea why, but she does it well.
Blogs are stupid. Sharp sense of humor, well written and says it like it is.
I mentioned Et tu? a couple of posts ago. Insightful christianity, really makes me think!
Italian loveliness from The life I chose.
As well as Notes to self, Rocks in my Dryer, and Adventures in Chaos, to name a few more.
Does anybody have any other good blog suggestions?
Blogging
I'm having the funnest time (not good english, I know!) checking out why people end up on my blog. With my Feedjit counter I can see if people pass by after googling something, or if they link through from somebody elses blog. It's really interesting! Just now somebody landed on here after looking under "job offer holland". I've had several hits on my alcohol post for some strange reason. The other day somebody googled "poop art holland" and ended up on this post.
Two days ago I got a hit from a town just 8 kilometers from here which made me kind of nervous. I've been keeping this blog "secret" from most of the people I know here. I like the freedom of talking about my life without having to think too much about the consequences that it may have for the dutch people I know. Imagine my surprise when on my first day of work a colleague said she had googled me by my maiden name and ended up on this blog! I never thought someone would do that because here I mostly introduce myself using Hermans last name. I don't think she's checked it since then, which is fine by me!
I love having people read this though, and thrive on comments, and sometimes wonder how many people might be lurking, or wonder if people think this is interesting enough to come back to and check out again!
And blogging has a lot of advantages. I find myself putting situations into words more consciously than I usually do, and I also take more pictures. Like today, when I was on a glorious bike ride with Marinda (have I mentioned how I love the surroundings here? They're just gorgeous!). I took my camera with me with this blog in mind and I enjoyed myself even more because I was so conscious of what I was doing and how I might write about it.
So now I will leave you with some pictures, so that you can see what I saw today.....
We had coffee and a lemonade at a little stall that also sold homemade jams and jellys. The cash register was a little tin can and trust was the basis on which we paid.
We biked through fields of green and yellow, past old farms, saw cows and sheep grazing, swans on the lake, boats sailing in the water, a windmill, the blue blue sky. We felt the bright sunshine on our shoulders and a fresh breeze blowing in our faces and I was very very happy.
Two days ago I got a hit from a town just 8 kilometers from here which made me kind of nervous. I've been keeping this blog "secret" from most of the people I know here. I like the freedom of talking about my life without having to think too much about the consequences that it may have for the dutch people I know. Imagine my surprise when on my first day of work a colleague said she had googled me by my maiden name and ended up on this blog! I never thought someone would do that because here I mostly introduce myself using Hermans last name. I don't think she's checked it since then, which is fine by me!
I love having people read this though, and thrive on comments, and sometimes wonder how many people might be lurking, or wonder if people think this is interesting enough to come back to and check out again!
And blogging has a lot of advantages. I find myself putting situations into words more consciously than I usually do, and I also take more pictures. Like today, when I was on a glorious bike ride with Marinda (have I mentioned how I love the surroundings here? They're just gorgeous!). I took my camera with me with this blog in mind and I enjoyed myself even more because I was so conscious of what I was doing and how I might write about it.
So now I will leave you with some pictures, so that you can see what I saw today.....
We had coffee and a lemonade at a little stall that also sold homemade jams and jellys. The cash register was a little tin can and trust was the basis on which we paid.
We biked through fields of green and yellow, past old farms, saw cows and sheep grazing, swans on the lake, boats sailing in the water, a windmill, the blue blue sky. We felt the bright sunshine on our shoulders and a fresh breeze blowing in our faces and I was very very happy.
Blogging
How come so many christian women are out there blogging? I have a habit of randomly clicking on blogs looking for something new, and sometimes searching for blogs deliberately. Practically each and every time I end up on a christan womans blog. Now is that coincidence, or are there just a lot of christian bloggers? Makes me wonder....
I found a blog the other day that I really enjoy. The blogger takes pictures of people reading and does a short interview with the reader. I've even thought of making a dutch version of it, only to discover I really don't see all that many people reading and the blog would probably get boring in a very very short time! Her blog is a great combination of books and little peeks into peoples lives, really cool. And today I found a blog which I assume is not christian. I so especially loved this post that she wrote. Made me grin and then laugh out loud!
I have a huge list of blogs in my Google reader and eagerly check them (if at all possible, several times a day!). The disadvantage of my work space is that I have people looking in at all sides, so I can't check when I'm having an "off" moment at work! What a bummer. But first thing I do in the morning (once I have gotten dressed, have gotten the kids up, breakfast made and lunches packed -and sometimes before that....-) is check my mail (two adresses!) and then check my blog counter to see if anything exciting has happened, and then check my reader list and catch up on other peoples lives. A very satisfying start to the day!
Now I so have to get Marinda to bed, and myself as well. Goodnight!
I found a blog the other day that I really enjoy. The blogger takes pictures of people reading and does a short interview with the reader. I've even thought of making a dutch version of it, only to discover I really don't see all that many people reading and the blog would probably get boring in a very very short time! Her blog is a great combination of books and little peeks into peoples lives, really cool. And today I found a blog which I assume is not christian. I so especially loved this post that she wrote. Made me grin and then laugh out loud!
I have a huge list of blogs in my Google reader and eagerly check them (if at all possible, several times a day!). The disadvantage of my work space is that I have people looking in at all sides, so I can't check when I'm having an "off" moment at work! What a bummer. But first thing I do in the morning (once I have gotten dressed, have gotten the kids up, breakfast made and lunches packed -and sometimes before that....-) is check my mail (two adresses!) and then check my blog counter to see if anything exciting has happened, and then check my reader list and catch up on other peoples lives. A very satisfying start to the day!
Now I so have to get Marinda to bed, and myself as well. Goodnight!
Pathetic
I just opened my blog, saw my last post, and decided I'd better write another pretty quickly to cover that one up.... I think pathetic would be a good description of my state of mind when I wrote it! But a big thank you to those who decided to ignore my patheticalness and write that you love me anyways!!
It's friday morning, I'm sitting in my bathrobe again trying to work up the energy to get myself dressed and in action. I excuse myself by telling myself that I have already done something by checking the internet to find a hotel for our 16 year wedding anniversary (coming up in April). The kids are out the door, dressed and in their right minds. I had a busy day yesterday, so I'm allowed to lounge around in my bathrobe, right?!? But still, all my logic still doesn't assuage the guilt. (I have a fast link to the dictionary to check out the spelling on my more complicated words. Assuage is a lovely one, isn't it?)
There's not much to write about right now. I'm going to make a list of smart, lively, intelligent, witty, unique, in-depth subjects that I will write about the next coming days.
Suggestions anyone?
It's friday morning, I'm sitting in my bathrobe again trying to work up the energy to get myself dressed and in action. I excuse myself by telling myself that I have already done something by checking the internet to find a hotel for our 16 year wedding anniversary (coming up in April). The kids are out the door, dressed and in their right minds. I had a busy day yesterday, so I'm allowed to lounge around in my bathrobe, right?!? But still, all my logic still doesn't assuage the guilt. (I have a fast link to the dictionary to check out the spelling on my more complicated words. Assuage is a lovely one, isn't it?)
There's not much to write about right now. I'm going to make a list of smart, lively, intelligent, witty, unique, in-depth subjects that I will write about the next coming days.
Suggestions anyone?
Meme
My first meme! I got tagged by Melanie. (Thanks Melanie, now I feel like I really belong in the blogging world!). And being tagged has finally forced me to figure out how to put a hyperlink in my posts.
Well, this meme asks me to name 6 quirky things about myself. You would not believe the amount of time I have spent thinking about this. Maybe due to the fact that I have this terrific head cold which limits my range of thought quite badly. In fact, I'll name these colds as my first quirky thing.
1. Head cold
As a child of my parents I claim partial ownership of this particular way of having a cold. It's not your average runny nose, coughing type of cold. No, we bring it up to another level. Colds hit my eyes, but only one at a time. That means that I walk around with one red, glazed, swollen, burning, teary eye for a day or two, and then, when I think things are getting better, the other eye gets hit. It's hard to be taken seriously when your eyes are two distinctly different sizes and leak spontaneously! People look at you worriedly and then ask if you're all right. Then the nose run. I have frequently felt a strong desire to stick a tampon up my nose, it's that bad! Some people may be able to work with a cold. It's not something that I think my colleagues would appreciate..
2. Lyrics
I love singing along to songs, but am a total dingbat when it comes to lyrics. For years I sang "I can see clearly now, the rain has come". Or what do you think about "smoke is sin" instead of "smoky sings"?? Or "Although we've run to the end of the road"?
3. Reading
I read obsessively. Some people do not think of this as being quirky, just annoying. I have read while biking, while frying pancakes, while cooking, while hanging up the laundry. In a car, in a plane, in the train, while walking along the street. Any place, any time, is a time for me to read.
4. Humor
I have a vulgar sense of humor. I like dirty jokes and double entendres. I cannot however, tell jokes. I am very very proud of myself when I manage to make a group of people laugh, I think of it as quite an accomplishment!
5. Math
I have a traumatic aversion to math thanks to my sweet 4th grade teacher who had her own unique way of getting a point across. The result is that anything that has anything to do with math can almost have me hyperventilating. You can ask me what two plus two is, and I will know, but anything beyond that dissappears in a big bog of fear. I am exaggerating only slightly...
6. Whistling
According to my family, I cannot whistle properly. It has become a standing family joke to laugh at me when I'm whistling. Evidently I pucker up my mouth in an absurd way and produce a breathy noise that they love to imitate...
That's it for my quirkiness for now! I would now like to tag Michelle, Sharon, Lise and Renzo
Well, this meme asks me to name 6 quirky things about myself. You would not believe the amount of time I have spent thinking about this. Maybe due to the fact that I have this terrific head cold which limits my range of thought quite badly. In fact, I'll name these colds as my first quirky thing.
1. Head cold
As a child of my parents I claim partial ownership of this particular way of having a cold. It's not your average runny nose, coughing type of cold. No, we bring it up to another level. Colds hit my eyes, but only one at a time. That means that I walk around with one red, glazed, swollen, burning, teary eye for a day or two, and then, when I think things are getting better, the other eye gets hit. It's hard to be taken seriously when your eyes are two distinctly different sizes and leak spontaneously! People look at you worriedly and then ask if you're all right. Then the nose run. I have frequently felt a strong desire to stick a tampon up my nose, it's that bad! Some people may be able to work with a cold. It's not something that I think my colleagues would appreciate..
2. Lyrics
I love singing along to songs, but am a total dingbat when it comes to lyrics. For years I sang "I can see clearly now, the rain has come". Or what do you think about "smoke is sin" instead of "smoky sings"?? Or "Although we've run to the end of the road"?
3. Reading
I read obsessively. Some people do not think of this as being quirky, just annoying. I have read while biking, while frying pancakes, while cooking, while hanging up the laundry. In a car, in a plane, in the train, while walking along the street. Any place, any time, is a time for me to read.
4. Humor
I have a vulgar sense of humor. I like dirty jokes and double entendres. I cannot however, tell jokes. I am very very proud of myself when I manage to make a group of people laugh, I think of it as quite an accomplishment!
5. Math
I have a traumatic aversion to math thanks to my sweet 4th grade teacher who had her own unique way of getting a point across. The result is that anything that has anything to do with math can almost have me hyperventilating. You can ask me what two plus two is, and I will know, but anything beyond that dissappears in a big bog of fear. I am exaggerating only slightly...
6. Whistling
According to my family, I cannot whistle properly. It has become a standing family joke to laugh at me when I'm whistling. Evidently I pucker up my mouth in an absurd way and produce a breathy noise that they love to imitate...
That's it for my quirkiness for now! I would now like to tag Michelle, Sharon, Lise and Renzo
Rain, rain go away
Do you know the childhood rhyme: "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day"? That's kind of what I want to say all day here. It's grey and gloomy and affecting my mood. I've just spent two afternoons napping on the couch, deciding that is about the most useful thing I can do in this weather! 
It's actually not very useful. Especially today I woke up feeling groggy with the phone ringing in my ear, only to have it be someone who talked solidly for about an hour. It only added to my grogginess. I don't understand how people can talk so much and not notice it about themselves. I truly think they hang up thinking that they have had a meaningful two-way conversation. I remember one of my clients from work telling me for ten minutes how good a listener she was (meanwhile not letting me get a word in edgewise!). People (including me) can be as blind as a bat when it comes to their own shortcomings. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, otherwise it might be hard to live with yourself!
It does surprise me however, to see how some people seem to have no sense for body language. I'll be edging away, turning my body sidewise, slowly backing off, looking over shoulders avoiding eye contact, repeatedly trying to end a conversation and the person will just keep on talking! Sometimes I find it immensely frustrating, but sometimes it also intrigues me. What's going on in that persons mind? Do they really not see? Have they not learned how to interpret signs? Or are they so lonely that they don't care if you don't want to hear it, they just want to talk?!?
Every once in a while I will do the same. I will sense somebody pulling away but decide to continue talking anyway! My need to talk then becomes more important than their desire to listen.... But mostly I try to listen. I have quite a deep rooted fear of being thought of as being boring and longwinded and will usually only talk more if I'm certain the person listening really wants to know. Unfortunately, that can also leave me feeling frustrated because not everybody will bother asking more questions even though I'd love to talk some more. Maybe that's why I like blogging! I can just "talk" without being worried if somebody really wants to know or not!!
It's actually not very useful. Especially today I woke up feeling groggy with the phone ringing in my ear, only to have it be someone who talked solidly for about an hour. It only added to my grogginess. I don't understand how people can talk so much and not notice it about themselves. I truly think they hang up thinking that they have had a meaningful two-way conversation. I remember one of my clients from work telling me for ten minutes how good a listener she was (meanwhile not letting me get a word in edgewise!). People (including me) can be as blind as a bat when it comes to their own shortcomings. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, otherwise it might be hard to live with yourself!It does surprise me however, to see how some people seem to have no sense for body language. I'll be edging away, turning my body sidewise, slowly backing off, looking over shoulders avoiding eye contact, repeatedly trying to end a conversation and the person will just keep on talking! Sometimes I find it immensely frustrating, but sometimes it also intrigues me. What's going on in that persons mind? Do they really not see? Have they not learned how to interpret signs? Or are they so lonely that they don't care if you don't want to hear it, they just want to talk?!?
Every once in a while I will do the same. I will sense somebody pulling away but decide to continue talking anyway! My need to talk then becomes more important than their desire to listen.... But mostly I try to listen. I have quite a deep rooted fear of being thought of as being boring and longwinded and will usually only talk more if I'm certain the person listening really wants to know. Unfortunately, that can also leave me feeling frustrated because not everybody will bother asking more questions even though I'd love to talk some more. Maybe that's why I like blogging! I can just "talk" without being worried if somebody really wants to know or not!!
Pimping my blog
I don't know if the "pimping" principle is known to everybody. It seems to have blown over from MTV from the States and has even been incorporated into the dutch language. When I use it I only mean making something look better. Weird how something that has such a bad sexual connotation can become so normal in everyday language. Maybe I should protest the term instead of using it?Anyway, as you can see, I decided to change the blog a wee little bit. I do stuff like that with regularity. Though I now realize I limit myself to small things. I'm not the kind of person who drags around furniture to change the way the living room looks. I do regularly change my hairstyle. I've had it really really short, dramatically asymmetrical, long in layers, long one length, and the shapes between long and short. I have had no glasses, very bland glasses, dramatic black glasses. I've weighed a lot and I've weighed less and adjusted my clothing style. I've had several different jobs, changed sports a number of times, want to go on vacation somewhere different every year and so forth and so on. When things get to be too much of routine I go a little crazy. So a little bit of "pimping" can be a real lifesaver then! (and getting yourself painted by your children will do the trick too......)
100
This will be post number 100. I figure I should make it memorable, but I'm not sure how!One thing is for sure though, I am really enjoying this, and it really does help put my life into perspective. Which is one of the reasons I started it. Sometimes I get the feeling that I must be really boring. After all, who wants to read about my life, and some of the humdrum details that fill it? Yet I have found that it has helped some people understand me better, has given a lot of family members a broader peek into my life, and it has given me a real boost to finally do something that has been on my list for so long! And I'm also happy to note that my husband reads this and enjoys the way I write :-)
One reader gave me his "two cents worth" and told me I should stop taking myself so seriously and just enjoy life more. Not a bad piece of advice I think. But also a challenge in itself. After all, how does one enjoy life more? I have found that sometimes writing down the unenjoyable things has helped me to enjoy the fun things more. By writing about the disagreeable things I can move beyond them, hopefully on to more enjoyment. On the other hand, focussing on the good in life also gives a natural boost and helps create more enjoyment!
There has also been a big change between the young me, who used to butterfly her way through life, and the person I am now, who has been formed by some of lifes rather nasty circumstances. I sincerely hope that some of my cheerful spirit and normally outgoing nature will reassert itself in the coming time. On the other hand, I also want to stay true to myself. So if I'm having a particularly nasty day and feel like shit, I will write about it!
Please keep the feedback coming though. I love it when people take the time to write a reaction. It's very encouraging! Here's to the next 100 posts, and a lot more pleasure in life!!
E-mail, blogs, and facebook
Posting this blog, joining Facebook, joining Hyves.... All stuff that's been keeping me pretty busy these last couple of weeks. In a very fun exciting way! Hyves is the dutch version of facebook and I've been having fun looking up old classmates, colleagues, and old friends from my dutch days.
This blog is mostly meant for non-dutch people, I like the idea of writing about my dutch life without actually having the people I write about see what I've written. Gives more of a sense of privacy. But I've already found that sometimes my life can't be split that easily into dutch and english. My family for example, are part of both, and so are some friends here in Holland who have the same kind of background as I do! Makes me more aware of what I'm writing and it's kind of scary. Because people who don't live in Holland can't come to me and approach me about what I've written, and get real personal. But those who do live here can.....
Keeping in touch with others feels kind of like a life-line to me. I'm not a super social person, I don't do a lot of visiting, and I don't want people around me all the time, but I absolutely LOVE getting e-mails and writing to people in my own time. I love looking at my blog, seeing that the numbers have gone up, wondering what people think about it, reading reactions. And I love the little jolt I get when I see that I HAVE MAIL! Always gives me a little boost of energy. It's the same at work. The little pling on the computer always makes me wonder what's come in now, and keeps me energized. I read in a newspaper once that some people are addicted to e-mail. I think I'm rapidly turning into one (or maybe I am addicted and don't want to know it!).
Part of why I like e-mail, and reactions on my blog, or facebook, or hyves, is that it gives me the feeling that I'm being seen. Somebody has me on their mind at that moment and it helps give me the feeling that I matter in some way, it defines me to a certain degree. Messages from outside are a form of confirmation that I sometimes need quite badly. I guess that sounds pretty insecure. But maybe it's just part of who I am. I like being part of a bigger picture, seeing beyond my rather insignificant life here and getting a feel for life in a broader sense. Maybe it's one of my legacies from being raised as a third culture kid.
Something to think about anyway!
This blog is mostly meant for non-dutch people, I like the idea of writing about my dutch life without actually having the people I write about see what I've written. Gives more of a sense of privacy. But I've already found that sometimes my life can't be split that easily into dutch and english. My family for example, are part of both, and so are some friends here in Holland who have the same kind of background as I do! Makes me more aware of what I'm writing and it's kind of scary. Because people who don't live in Holland can't come to me and approach me about what I've written, and get real personal. But those who do live here can.....
Keeping in touch with others feels kind of like a life-line to me. I'm not a super social person, I don't do a lot of visiting, and I don't want people around me all the time, but I absolutely LOVE getting e-mails and writing to people in my own time. I love looking at my blog, seeing that the numbers have gone up, wondering what people think about it, reading reactions. And I love the little jolt I get when I see that I HAVE MAIL! Always gives me a little boost of energy. It's the same at work. The little pling on the computer always makes me wonder what's come in now, and keeps me energized. I read in a newspaper once that some people are addicted to e-mail. I think I'm rapidly turning into one (or maybe I am addicted and don't want to know it!).
Part of why I like e-mail, and reactions on my blog, or facebook, or hyves, is that it gives me the feeling that I'm being seen. Somebody has me on their mind at that moment and it helps give me the feeling that I matter in some way, it defines me to a certain degree. Messages from outside are a form of confirmation that I sometimes need quite badly. I guess that sounds pretty insecure. But maybe it's just part of who I am. I like being part of a bigger picture, seeing beyond my rather insignificant life here and getting a feel for life in a broader sense. Maybe it's one of my legacies from being raised as a third culture kid.
Something to think about anyway!
Fun!
I never realized how fun this could be! I've just spent half an hour rejecting all kinds of pictures that I want to place on the blog, only to come to the conclusion that I will have to make a supremely flattering one! And I spent all day yesterday thinking about the kinds of things I would write on this blog.
I've decided on writing around themes. So each day I will pick one aspect of my life and go into a bit of detail about it. And, if I think it's worth the while, I will also chat about little daily happenings that, to me, are worth mentioning. It's really give me something to look forward to! Somehow gives me the feeling that I can really share something about my life. I don't know where that need comes from. Maybe it's just inherent to being human.
It's late now, so I'll keep this short. Tomorrow I'll really get a start, and probably add a picture or two. I get cheerful just at the thought of it.
I've decided on writing around themes. So each day I will pick one aspect of my life and go into a bit of detail about it. And, if I think it's worth the while, I will also chat about little daily happenings that, to me, are worth mentioning. It's really give me something to look forward to! Somehow gives me the feeling that I can really share something about my life. I don't know where that need comes from. Maybe it's just inherent to being human.
It's late now, so I'll keep this short. Tomorrow I'll really get a start, and probably add a picture or two. I get cheerful just at the thought of it.
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