Efficiency is my middle name according to my sister. She said this when I was calling her with my cell phone while biking to the store. Something I have often done in the past, getting my calls done while biking to work or back, or to the grocery store or whatever! Thinking about this made something fall into place for me. I have an inner resistance to skyping with people, but didn't know why. Well efficiency is the reason! Because, when I skype, I can't do anything but sit in front of the computer and talk. While I could be doing dishes, hanging up laundry or clearing up rooms. Things I regularly do when talking on the phone. I don't even like sitting down in real life and talking with people, I'd rather be doing something and talking at the same time. Some of my best conversations have been while scrubbing toilets, doing laundry or doing dishes (or walking, or biking, or shopping....) .Pretty aweful hey? I don't feel the same about IMing with somebody, because then I can chat with more than one person, write a letter, google or do numerous other things while chatting back and forth. Yes, I'm afraid efficiency is indeed my middle name, much to the detriment of my social contacts sometimes......
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Efficiency
Efficiency is my middle name according to my sister. She said this when I was calling her with my cell phone while biking to the store. Something I have often done in the past, getting my calls done while biking to work or back, or to the grocery store or whatever! Thinking about this made something fall into place for me. I have an inner resistance to skyping with people, but didn't know why. Well efficiency is the reason! Because, when I skype, I can't do anything but sit in front of the computer and talk. While I could be doing dishes, hanging up laundry or clearing up rooms. Things I regularly do when talking on the phone. I don't even like sitting down in real life and talking with people, I'd rather be doing something and talking at the same time. Some of my best conversations have been while scrubbing toilets, doing laundry or doing dishes (or walking, or biking, or shopping....) .Pretty aweful hey? I don't feel the same about IMing with somebody, because then I can chat with more than one person, write a letter, google or do numerous other things while chatting back and forth. Yes, I'm afraid efficiency is indeed my middle name, much to the detriment of my social contacts sometimes......
Rain, rain go away
Do you know the childhood rhyme: "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day"? That's kind of what I want to say all day here. It's grey and gloomy and affecting my mood. I've just spent two afternoons napping on the couch, deciding that is about the most useful thing I can do in this weather! 
It's actually not very useful. Especially today I woke up feeling groggy with the phone ringing in my ear, only to have it be someone who talked solidly for about an hour. It only added to my grogginess. I don't understand how people can talk so much and not notice it about themselves. I truly think they hang up thinking that they have had a meaningful two-way conversation. I remember one of my clients from work telling me for ten minutes how good a listener she was (meanwhile not letting me get a word in edgewise!). People (including me) can be as blind as a bat when it comes to their own shortcomings. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, otherwise it might be hard to live with yourself!
It does surprise me however, to see how some people seem to have no sense for body language. I'll be edging away, turning my body sidewise, slowly backing off, looking over shoulders avoiding eye contact, repeatedly trying to end a conversation and the person will just keep on talking! Sometimes I find it immensely frustrating, but sometimes it also intrigues me. What's going on in that persons mind? Do they really not see? Have they not learned how to interpret signs? Or are they so lonely that they don't care if you don't want to hear it, they just want to talk?!?
Every once in a while I will do the same. I will sense somebody pulling away but decide to continue talking anyway! My need to talk then becomes more important than their desire to listen.... But mostly I try to listen. I have quite a deep rooted fear of being thought of as being boring and longwinded and will usually only talk more if I'm certain the person listening really wants to know. Unfortunately, that can also leave me feeling frustrated because not everybody will bother asking more questions even though I'd love to talk some more. Maybe that's why I like blogging! I can just "talk" without being worried if somebody really wants to know or not!!
It's actually not very useful. Especially today I woke up feeling groggy with the phone ringing in my ear, only to have it be someone who talked solidly for about an hour. It only added to my grogginess. I don't understand how people can talk so much and not notice it about themselves. I truly think they hang up thinking that they have had a meaningful two-way conversation. I remember one of my clients from work telling me for ten minutes how good a listener she was (meanwhile not letting me get a word in edgewise!). People (including me) can be as blind as a bat when it comes to their own shortcomings. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, otherwise it might be hard to live with yourself!It does surprise me however, to see how some people seem to have no sense for body language. I'll be edging away, turning my body sidewise, slowly backing off, looking over shoulders avoiding eye contact, repeatedly trying to end a conversation and the person will just keep on talking! Sometimes I find it immensely frustrating, but sometimes it also intrigues me. What's going on in that persons mind? Do they really not see? Have they not learned how to interpret signs? Or are they so lonely that they don't care if you don't want to hear it, they just want to talk?!?
Every once in a while I will do the same. I will sense somebody pulling away but decide to continue talking anyway! My need to talk then becomes more important than their desire to listen.... But mostly I try to listen. I have quite a deep rooted fear of being thought of as being boring and longwinded and will usually only talk more if I'm certain the person listening really wants to know. Unfortunately, that can also leave me feeling frustrated because not everybody will bother asking more questions even though I'd love to talk some more. Maybe that's why I like blogging! I can just "talk" without being worried if somebody really wants to know or not!!
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