7 quick takes

1.

This is how the kitchen looks now. Improvement is coming in bits and pieces accompanied by aches and pains from my husband. Thankfully we've been fed at friends and family over the last couple of days, so there has been no more need for back yard cooking! Hopefully this weekend all will be up and running again and we'll be able to enjoy this beauty :-)

2.

Work is a joy and a pleasure. Yesterday I teksted the following message to some friends: "Perks of the job; sitting in the sun by a windmill with coffee". I am going on lots of work visits to the local volunteer organisations. Over the last couple of weeks I've visited youth projects, homes for the elderly, an art gallery, schools, a home away from home for handicapped children and the windmill. I love it!

3.

Marinda is home sick again. It looks like the flu. Tristan is lying on the sofa complaining of a stomachache. We are still in the flow of having a child or two sick at home at least one day a week. Today it's both of them....

4.

Our front yard is blooming mightily, thanks to my friend Alize who gifted us with bags of bulbs.

5.

I can finally walk up the stairs again without my knee twinging in protest every time! And with two staircases in the house, this is a real blessing. I will have to think twice about jumping on the trampoline again. I think I'm beginning to feel my age, whether I like it or not!

6.

Currently reading Isaac Asimov. Love me a good robot story!

7.

Just writing these 7 quick takes makes me realize how much information I throw on facebook through my status updates. Sometimes it's hard to think of what to write, seeing as I've already written something about it on facebook. Makes me wonder if I should toss one or the other.

Have a great friday everyone!

All that Glitters

View inside the toilets of the cinema in Breda.
I blinked, and blinked, and blinked again, and then went for my camera!

Random

It's 10.00 p.m. Usually I'll be getting ready for bed around this time. Or already tucked into bed reading. But tonight I'm waiting up for my girlie, who has been invited to a party and will be home late. I could of course go to bed anyway, but I won't sleep til she's in, so I might as well stay up!

Tomorrow I have to head to work early while the kids get to sleep in due to their having spring vacation. Not that there is spring in site, the weather is gloomy and grey. Although there are little points of green coming up here and there in the garden, it's still very much winter.

I just came home from a meeting from my new job. Dropped off Marinda at the train station first and two minutes later I was at my desk. I still can't get over the thrill of working so close to home! It was fun too, more work added on to my steadily growing work load, but it's all stuff that is definately interesting! It still feels like I've found my niche here. Hopefully that feeling will hang on for a while :-). Tomorrow I'll have my picture in the local newspaper, along with a short interview.

Marinda is slowly getting better. She's been sick off and on for weeks with vague complaints like stomachache, tiredness, headaches, more tiredness. She had glandular fever more than a year ago, but the tiredness just seemed to be hanging on. On the persistant advice of my sister Lise (thanks Lise!) we finally decided to try homeopathy with her. And I must say, it works! She's really become a lot more energetic lately. Though she cancelled all her dance classes, she's now belly dancing at home with the aid of lessons through You Tube. Besides that she's chatting with friends through the internet and has even made some plans to get together with people again. It's a big improvement which hopefully will continue!

Tristan has a soccer and pingpong tournaments coming up this vacation. Also he seems to be getting more active, though sometimes this action takes unwanted forms. Like his being sent out of the swimming pool due to aggravating behavior. I feel I should be very upset by this, but actually I'm not. He's hitting puberty and sometimes it shows! And I also know that there were no mean intentions behind his behavior, he's just acting out a bit. He's kept on such a short leash at school, that I can't help but understand why he acts up in other places. And he hasn't been able to release his energy in sports due to his injury, so I'm kind of lenient with him when he acts up elsewhere. Does it sound like I'm justifying my leniency? Well, I am! This behavior confirms our suspicion that we need to send him to a creative school where he will be given room to grow , instead of a school in which rules and regulations form a strict protocol.

Herman and I are struggling to keep relating to each other. Our date nights have disappeared into thin air, and the effects are noticeable. That, combined with his long illness and my depressive phase, do not make for a very happy productive relationship. As always, we're working on it! We're getting really good at that! ;-)

So how's that for a long random ramble?

Puzzle

Here's something to do while there's nothing to read on here! It's surprisingly addictive :-)

25 things

1. Facebook is like a blast from the past. I have friends on here from almost every phase of my childhood. Ethiopia, Louisiana and Kenya.
2. I love injera
3. Since meeting a south african friend here in my town, I drink tea with milk and sugar again. Love it!
4. My daughter is so pretty, it blows me away sometimes
5. My son is so big, I can't believe I bore him and managed to push him out.
6. I have to clear the table, instead I'm doing this
7. I like being in the limelight. Does that make me a bad person?
8. Ondengs give the greatest hugs
9. I'd like to go to my high school reunion, but live in fear of feeling out of place
10. Tomorrow night I'm having a little gathering of friends to celebrate my new job
11. Blogging is fun, great fun! I've dreamt of being a writer, and this way at least I write!
12. The longer my hair is, the curlier it is.
13. According to "color me beautiful" I am a winter.
14. Speaking of colors... my favorite color is red.
15. Reading is essential to life: as an escape, as a mirror, as lessons learned
16. Over the last 18 years I have gained 25 kilos, lost 12, gained 15, lost 18, gained 15, lost 3..... well, you get the picture!
17. I love SPACE, lots of it! Room to breath, to look out, to part of a huge expanse.
18. My ethiopian road trip was a time to treasure. What was the song we listened to all four days? How could I forget!
19. I've never been drunk
20. I love to dance.... but can't.
21. We've been looking for a car!! It'll be the first we've ever owned!!
22. Thank goodness for public transport.
23. Red tulips make me happy
24. Great quote: A smile is the prettiest thing you can wear
25. I'm listening to my hubby sleeping on the couch, my daughter listening to Lady Smith Black Mambazo on the laptop, my fingers typing on the keyboard, the new computer humming in the back ground. Life is pretty good!

Consider your self tagged!

Random

I've been doing a lot of thinking, some writing, some talking, and have moments of satisfaction next to the moments of numb emptiness that are also there.
I guess that's normal though. Life never is a continuing vale of tears, even though it may feel like it sometimes! Though I have realized that feeling depressed can cast a blanket over every situation, sucking the spark out of even the loveliest moments. Kind of like a damper on the spirit.

Looking back over my last few posts I see that I have not noted any of the things we did during the Christmas break. Just for posterities sake, I will note them now. Because I would not like to read only misery when I glance back in a couple of months or so!
Facebook seems to be taking the place of my blog sometimes. I update my state of mind or what I'm doing on there, and then forget to write about it on my blog. But then it disappears onto the net, and there's no lasting notation of how time has been spent.

So here goes:

- Lots of scrabble was played. Marinda and I experimented with playing in english and she is a strong competitor (like in every other game! I rarely beat her at anything, smart girl as she is!).

- We completed a 1000 piece puzzle in two days. I got started, Marinda finished it off :-).

- We went to Madagascar 2 with the kids. "I like em big, I like em chunky, I like em big, I like em plumpy!" Great fun!

- I baked lots of chocolate chip cookies, with differing succes. On the day after Christmas I brought my offering of cookies to my international friends here, knowing that they would appreciate this gesture. They did! All other cookies were also appreciated by family members.
Fun thing... last wednesday one of those friends returned the favor. Finding out I was not at home, she then hung a bag with a plate of cookies on my door :-).

- Christmas Eve was spent in style at my sisters house. My mom once started the tradition of exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve and it's something we do practically every year. We did small gifts, which were fun to get and give. And then we gourmetted (ate food from little frying pans, each person gets their own pan, you make your own meal. One of my international friends here didn't know what it was, so I thought I'd share!). Marinda and I got some Lush soaps, which are now lying here and there around the house spreading lovely smells. Seriously, when you wash with this stuff your skin still smells like it after a couple of hours.

- We went to the Christmas service at our old church, seeing as we still havn't found a church here that matches with us. It was nice to be there and see old familiar places. Also strange to see that things are still the same.

- New Years Eve was spent with our favorite friends. It's so very comforting and wonderful to walk into a house and feel entirely at home with people. The kids hadn't seen eachother since the summer but they immediately settled down to a game and laughs. So we spent the evening eating, talking, playing games and enjoying eachothers company, followed by Tristans delight.... setting off lots and lots of fireworks.

- I got the year off to a good start as far as physical activity goes. I have a step thingy and have been getting on it regularly. Feels good to get the sweat flowing! During the Christmas break I also finally got some new clothes. Nothing is quite as miserable as having only 2 pants and 3 sweaters in your cupboard (I am not exaggerating!). This way I at least had something decent for Christmas! I went shopping by myself one afternoon and enjoyed the freezing views in Harderwijk and took my own time. I don't particularly like shopping, so was very pleased with what I got!
Stupid thing.. I bought an oliebol at an outdoor stand when I was there. It was covered in powdered sugar. So I made sure to wipe and wipe and wipe my face, not wanting a speck of powdered sugar hanging around to make me feel like fat woman eating... Then, about half an hour later, I looked down at myself and discovered my jacket was COVERED with powdered sugar. Had a good laugh at myself!!

- It's been the coldest 2 weeks in 12 years. There was natural ice everywhere and skating on it was a huge thing. Traditionally Holland is a skating country, so everybody was out breaking legs, hips, arms and legs (seriously, in some places the army volunteered their services in order to cope with the extra workload in the hospitals!). I've enjoyed the cold immensely, I'd much rather have a good chill than have rain falling on my head. But I didn't get out as much as I would have liked to. I only spent one afternoon on the ice, only to discover that my legs were not up to the challenge :-). Major shin burn was all I got out of it...

- I watched the movie The Beach by myself one evening. Lovely to watch something without people walking in or out or commenting!

- I made two new friends on the internet. One whose blog I read regularly and who offered to exchange e-mail adresses. And another person that I happened upon fortuitously. I have really enjoyed the new contacts!

- In a more recent turn of events. I went to a christian womans group here last week with one of my new nunspeetan friends . It was a really pleasant surprise. None of the moralizing, preachy type of christianity that I'm allergic to at this moment. More of a sharing of ones life and how God plays a role in it. I was heartened by everyones honesty and encouraged to go more often. So I think I will!

Well then, I think I've gotten some highlights down! Congratulations to those who have made it down to here :-).

Wish

Name one wish for the coming year:

Don't think this should be so hard to answer, but it kind of is! I've been noticing lately that I'm living on automatic pilot a lot of the time. Doing my routine things in my routine way. There's not much to challenge me right now, and I don't seem to be looking for any challenges either.
Which is a contrast to how I have spent many of the last years. Always looking for a new challenge, always with a long list of things I still want to do, explore, or find out. And almost always with at least one book which makes me really think, instead of lulling my mind with somebody elses life. Plenty of challenging books in the bookcase, but no real appeal is coming from them!

So, one wish for the coming year.... I really do have to sit and think! For me a wish is something big, slightly unatainable, something that needs to be striven for. So writing down that I hope our kitchen will be installed sometime in the coming year, or that our new garden fence will be up just doesn't quite cut it.

Oh, I know!
I wish to regain some of the vision and hope and challenge that seem to kind of have sunk down into the morass of boring sameness that has been filling my days.

What do YOU like about yourself?

I cheated a bit, because the question I picked was just too hard. So I'll save it for another time.

Instead, I picked out this question...

What do you like most about yourself??

Now my first reaction "should" be: oh no, how difficult, I can't think of anything nice about myself (and I should be blushing and simpering while saying this). I say "should" because evidently that's how we are raised -especially here in Holland-. To be perfectly and completely capable of saying the most denigrating things about yourself and to have a really hard time saying something nice.

The funny thing is, that although I am most definately not the most positive person in the world, especially about myself, I am also not so stupid that I can't realize that I am a nice person and that there are nice things that people can say about me. And there are nice things that I can say about myself. And really?? I think that everybody should be able to do that. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is all bad. I really sincerely believe that there is something good in pretty much everybody if you look hard enough, and there is most definately something nice in YOU, dear reader!! (just the fact that you are reading this means you're nice, real real nice!!)

Anyway, after this little rant, what's the answer to the question? I think what I like most about myself is my friendliness. I am open for contact with others and hope and think that I can be pretty unjudgemental, meaning that I can get along with a wide variety of people. The odder, the better sometimes!

Now I know I havn't had a lot of comments lately (bless you if you have commented, you have no idea how encouraging it is!) but would you, could you please write down what it is you like about yourself? One word will do!

Hard Question

When was the last time you felt rich?

Now this question is open for interpretation. Rich could mean rich moneywise, or rich in experience, or rich with happiness, or richly fulfilled...whatever!
I'm going to see if I can answer this question at least two ways.
Moneywise, well, I have to go back to Ethiopia again! I do keep going on and on about our vacation there, don't I? Ah well.... good memories :-)

When I was on my road trip with my family it was an absolute delight and a joy to go out for breakfast, lunch and dinner and have not a care in the world about how much it cost. Really, not a care in the world. The food may not have been high quality (though nothing beats a good injera eaten locally!, and the coffee.... oh the coffee.... I don't think Starbucks can beat a good ethiopian macchiato, served in a thick mug or tall glass, drunk on a wiggly chair, surrounded by happily sipping, chomping and guzzling ethiopians....... sigh..........)
Now what was I saying?? Something about feeling rich I think. Well, all of the above mentioned pleasures cost next to nothing which greatly added to the amount of enjoyment involved!

Richly fulfilled? Those are snapshot moments. Taking a bike ride with my daughter, or by myself, spending time with family, enjoying creativity. These moments often come in a flash, a warm gush of happiness flooding my body, making my eyes water. They pass but leave a lingering sense of well being and a smile on my face.
And if I blog about them, they bring a smile to my face time and time again.

Personal Question

When I "committed" to answering questions, I decided I would randomly pick a question and not put it back if I didn't like it. Well, I got one now that is kind of personal :-(

The question is: What side of yourself do you not show easily?

I think I come across as being a strong independent woman, especially if you meet me in person. Here on this blog I show other sides of myself as well, more sides maybe than most people get to see in real life!
One of those sides would be sorrow. It is only rarely that I will cry with sadness. Oh I cry easily enough when watching a sad movie or reading a sad book or while listening to somebody who is sad, almost anything will set me off actually! But to really show sadness, my own personal sadness to those around me? It's not often. I am more likely to cry angry frustrated tears than cry tears of sorrow.
The last time I remember crying, really crying, is when we left Ethiopia after our vacation there last winter. Oh my, did I cry! I wept and wept and wept with a vengeance. And then I couldn't find any tissues to wipe my face with.....
Anger is a much easier emotion to deal with. Anger makes me move, get going, produce something, DO something. Sorrow.... well.... it's just there, and it's not very useful at all.

Favorite color

The fifth question was: What is your favorite color?

Care to take a guess?

Fourth Question

Sorry folks, until I have more inspiration, you're going to have to make do with answers to all kinds of questions. I figure it's beter to keep writing something, than not write anything at all :-)

Todays question: What do you enjoy spending money on?

Simple answer: Nothing.
I don't like spending money. When I do, I feel guilty. Always, always there's a little voice in my head asking me if what I'm buying is really neccesary and if I can't get it cheaper.
I have learned how to silence that voice though, or to thoroughly rationalize things so that I can get something almost guilt free.
Spending money on coffee with a friend for example. I've really had to learn how to do that and to enjoy it instead of sipping it while thinking of how much cheaper it would be to drink coffee at home! Or buying clothes for myself (which is a traumatic situation in itself). I still struggle with getting something really nice (and therefore more expensive) because, deep down, I probably don't think I'm worth it.
I don't buy books, for example, even though I'm a great lover of reading. Part of me thinks it's just not worth it, considering the pace at which I read! And to be honest, I think that that is a pretty good argument. Secondhand will do me just as well, and even then I protest at the amount of money people sometimes want for a book!
This money thing has been passed down through the genes, at least partly. I guess being a missionary kid can do that to you! And partly it's because of how Herman and I started off our marriage. We were practically kids, Herman had just started working and we had our kids when we were young. No time to build up any savings, so we learned early how to spend our money well.
On the other hand, I'm also proud of the way we spend our money. We have no debts, have never had any, are able to take vacations (however simple they may often be), we tithe, we have a roof over our heads, are well-fed and can afford a luxury every now and again. Really, no reason to complain!
I just want to work some more on the guilt free spending though, so that I can thoroughly enjoy it when I do spend it!

Third question

What's your favorite movie? Why?

Favorite movie... That's a hard one! Because, obviously, there are just too many to name.

Sound of Music: First movie I remember seeing. Will always give bring me to tears. Marinda used to call it the "aaaahhhh" movie because of all the singing.

Castaway: Awe inspiring. One man's survival skills. The space, the loneliness, the will to live.

Lord of the Rings: Magical. Great memories of the marathon session (all three, right after eachother!)

Cry Freedom: Chills. Watched it in Kenya, made it that much more impressive.

What are your favorites?

Nestle

This is our local eyesore, the Nestle factory in my townt. I bike past it practically every day . Usually I turn my eyes to the fields on the other side, but tonight it was open for guests so I went for a visit with my sil and fil.
Why go for a visit in a factory? Well, it's there! And it was open! Reason enough for me to want to take a peek. I'm always curious to see how things work. Every vacation is spent going somewhere to learn something, be it cheese making, clog making, learning how the dutch high tech dams work...whatever! So now I walked around the factory with my hair covered with a net, wearing a fancy plastic raincoaty kind of thing, learning all about how baby food is made. Did you know it was made from whey? And then all kinds of vitamins and minerals are added? And then the liquid is sprayed into the top of a huge funnel and blasted with 350 degree heat (celsius!) turning the liquid into powder which, after a cooling process is then packed into tins and sent all over the world. And this goes on 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Bet you didn't know that! (bet you don't care either...).
Anyway, I got my kick out of seeing a factory in progress and getting a look even farther behind the scenes because my bil works there and he sneaked us into the cooling tower.
And that, folks, seems to have been the highlight of my week so far!!

Single Mom

I told a friend the other day that now and again I feel like a single mom. Saturday for example. I went out and bought a laptop and a new screen for our computer. Not something that I usually do, the computers are more Hermans thing. But needs must, and we had been wanting to get a laptop since before the summer, and there was a huge sale at the store, so there went I. Cellphone in hand for the neccesary back-up calls, sister in law at my side for moral support. I practically had to walk over people to see anything at all, and there was a huge traffic jam just getting to the store.
Despite the preparation, backup and the moral support I didn't quite get what we wanted, but we've decided to keep it all and be happy with it. Then I even ended up installing stuff on the computer, figuring out which software to use and so forth and so on.
Now, just to be sure, I want to let you know I am not a total dingbat. I obviously CAN buy a computer and I am not a total geek, but it's just one of those things that has drifted into Hermans field of attention. Like doing the groceries and taking out the garbage and fixing things and cooking a couple of times a week and so forth and so on. And the last couple of weeks all those little things have become mine to do because Herman is still pretty sick and most things that require body motion are passed on to me.
It's strange to note how much of daily life is filled with things you take for granted until they don't happen any more. And it's not like all the extra stuff is really hard or demanding or impossible or beyond my means or .... it's just extra.
So that's what made me think of single motherhood. Because all single mothers out there do all these things, no questions asked. I have a new admiration for them, because being the sole parent has to be a pretty tough job. I'm lucky because even though Herman is physically "unavailable" he's still very much a moral support. Thank goodness his being sick has not turned him into a terrible grouch.
It has however, made me feel tired and grouchy, and tired, and tired and tired. Which means that instead of going to bed on time I stay up even later, eat unhealthily and in general help myself into an even worse state. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this!

Along came a spider

Remember this picture?
I had come to consider this spider our garden pet. Used to walk by every day and admire how big it had become, and I looked forward to seeing how big it could get.
Yesterday I watched it being brutally murdered. By two birds. I saw it make a leap to safety and get snatched up just before the haven was reached.
I was sad.
Silly, isn't it?

This time

This time this message is reaching you from my office. Where I have decided to linger a little bit longer in order to make use of some internet time. The windows and shutters are closed and silence prevails.
Last week I had dinner with colleagues, a goodbye dinner for our director. During the dinner conversation the work atmosphere came up. I mentioned something along the lines of not feeling quite at home. Nobody responded to my comment at that moment, but today a colleague did. Leading to an interesting conversation about the whys and why nots of my feeling at home here. Both of us couldn't quite figure out what the deal was BUT it's just good to have unspoken thoughts spoken, and to have at least told somebody about how I feel. Besides that emotional moment (I get teary eyed over everything right now) there was another this morning when I ended up talking about how sick Herman is. More tears and also sympathy.
Some good may just come out of all this bad!

Realization

I never realized how much the setting in which I type determines what I do and do not write. Somehow the library is not conductive to deep personal thoughts. I can hear children crying in background (which is never conductive to deep thoughts!). And I feel harried and rushed because of the time limit that is set here. So I will have to make do with fragments of thoughts and a lot of sweet (HA!!) nothings.
Sunday I took a walk with a friend and took pictures of the beginning of autumn here. Never would have done that before! Blogging has made me more camera aware. The pictures will have to wait though, as internet is still not functioning. I know, I'm becoming repetitive.
We had a bit of a scare this morning, thinking that Herman would have to be hospitalized. It could still happen, depending on what results come out of the samples he is sending out to the lab. It's just not going well, there's nothing much else to say about that. If any of you are prayer-like then prayers would be appreciated. I do not have the faith anymore.
You know one strange thing though? Despite the fact that a lot of things are not going well, I am able to stick to a diet of sorts. No overeating going on here. It makes no sense at all, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts!

Time

Time is running out on me. I'm in the library right now, getting my internet fix. You do realize this means I check my personal mail, my family mail, my work mail, my blog, and my google reader. I don't think my husband understood this, as he is now (hopefully) patiently waiting for me to finally finish. We agreed I'd call him when I was done so that we could go visit the art market together but he decided to come by in his own time instead, leaving me halfway my internet fix, frantically trying to get everything done!
Oh well. At least he's up, and that is quite something. Yesterday I had to go to a wedding on my own because he was still feeling so sick. He still is, and it's worrying, to say the least.
But, the sun is shining, it is a glorious day, I got to sleep in, and there are not other heavy pressing plans for this weekend. So hopefully all of us will feel better by the end of the weekend, internet will become available to us again, our phones (land line and mobile) will all work again and we will feel ready to start the week cheerful and happy.
Off the art market now!!

Alice in Wonderland

You know that rabbit in Alice in Wonderland who runs around with a clock in his hands yelling about things being late?Or is that the mad Hatter?

Whatever... That's me.