Nostalgia
These last couple of days have been full of nostalgia. Knowing we're leaving makes me feel nostalgic about everything we have here. I have a bad habit of not truly appreciating something until it's almost too late. I guess I should be happy I have the time to appreciate this house and home before we move on to another! I bike my daily route to work and anxiously hope that my new route will be as nice as this one. I drove by the hospital and remembered all the times Tristan has been there (numerous, numerous times, including 4 operations!). I bike through the city and remember the house calls I've made for my work, the playground I used to study in while the kids were playing, the different places I've worked at, our old house. Lots of memories are coming up and I've been wondering how to hang on to the good things in order to keep remembering them. One of the places I can do this is this blog, so you will be subject to some specific memories of mine, with pictures, the coming time! I've always wanted to write an account of my life and I guess this is as good a place as any ;-) I'm hoping that remembering the good will help me make a good transition from one place to the other. I know how important that can be!
Intern
Sometimes when I get discouraged at work I have an experience that lifts my spirits. Today it was a talk that I had with my intern. She had to write a paper for college, explaining what her goals were and how she meant to achieve them in the time that she's working with us. Since she's been around I've had a hard time with her. The thing is, I can't get a grip on her. She seems bored, but doesn't say she is, she sound arrogant sometimes, insecure at others. I get no feeling for what type of person she is. And that always bothers the heck out of me. I'd much prefer it when somebody has a strong personality, then at least I know how to adjust to them. With her, I just don't know where she's at, and consequentially, don't know where I'm at. I hate the feeling of helplessness it gives me. I know, I know, I have to deal with it! Not avoid it!
We had an appointment today, so I had already decided to grab the bull by the horns and see if I could raise this issue and at least talk about it. She handed me her paper beforehand to read and there were some things she wrote that helped me direct the conversation to how she comes across to me. It's such a relief to talk about it! And to get the impression that I was getting through to her. I love conversations when I get the feeling that I may actually be saying something meaningful (or perhaps even wise?). This was one of those conversations. Always makes me feel like I've actually done something, maybe made somebody think, or at least made myself think or act beyond my usual boundaries. I usually like the coordinating part of my job, in contrast to the more personal contacts that I sometimes need to have. But today was one of those one on ones that reminds me that it can really be worth the while to invest in a relationship. Hopefully this talk will help me to look at my intern differently and give her a chance to show more of who she really is.
We had an appointment today, so I had already decided to grab the bull by the horns and see if I could raise this issue and at least talk about it. She handed me her paper beforehand to read and there were some things she wrote that helped me direct the conversation to how she comes across to me. It's such a relief to talk about it! And to get the impression that I was getting through to her. I love conversations when I get the feeling that I may actually be saying something meaningful (or perhaps even wise?). This was one of those conversations. Always makes me feel like I've actually done something, maybe made somebody think, or at least made myself think or act beyond my usual boundaries. I usually like the coordinating part of my job, in contrast to the more personal contacts that I sometimes need to have. But today was one of those one on ones that reminds me that it can really be worth the while to invest in a relationship. Hopefully this talk will help me to look at my intern differently and give her a chance to show more of who she really is.
The inlaws
This is the family we'll be moving closer to if we get a house in the new town, which we are kind of aiming for right now. We'll be moving back into the bosom of Hermans family. The kids love the idea of being so close to the grandparents they love so much. Somebody once told me that I was blessed with my parents in law because they have been such a constant factor in my kids lives. I can't help but agree! My parents in law are well known for sticking to their promises, no matter if it inconveniences them at all. I, on the other hand, am notorious for either not knowing my mind or changing it regularly which does not help at all when raising children! Both kids still love going over to their grandparents place so moving closer is an appealing option to them. I am comforted by the thought that although many things will change when we move, the contact with the family will offer a sense of security for all of us. We just have to be careful that the sense of security does not get replaced with a feeling of being stifled!
Friends, old and new
Today, on impulse, I biked by my old neighbor. Not that she's old (though she's older than I am), but she's a neighbor from our last house. She's actually the key person who got me out of my depression and into life. Through her I got my first job after Marinda's birth, which was the start of a life which was filled with routine and different forms of fulfilment, instead of depression and lack of structure.
My neighbor was at home and we had a good time catching up. Since our move almost 6 years ago we don't see each other often. But when we do we get right down to basics and don't talk about the weather! I find it special to share my life with somebody who has known me for thirteen years, has seen all the ups and downs, and can still show so much appreciation for who I am, and who we have become as a family. Friends like her are special. The kinds of friends you know you will stay in touch with even if you move. And the kinds of friends who you can not talk to for half a year and then still have a good time with when you see them again.
Our upcoming move makes me more aware of the friendships that we have here. Most of them are rather superficial. People I meet in church, have a chat with, but don't really get close to. Some mothers I've talked to when I've been around school, neighbors I greet. Somehow this house has always felt like an imbetween place and I've never really invested in long time relationships. Perhaps that's something I'll focus more on in our new home.
Thankfully we also have a number of friends that don't depend on regular contact. When we get together there is time for sharing and good company. We won't be leaving those behind!
(unfortunately I can't post pictures right now! Otherwise I'd post a charming picture of my neighbors feet..... I really don't know why somebody bothered to photograph them, and I figure this blog is as good a place as any to post it!)
My neighbor was at home and we had a good time catching up. Since our move almost 6 years ago we don't see each other often. But when we do we get right down to basics and don't talk about the weather! I find it special to share my life with somebody who has known me for thirteen years, has seen all the ups and downs, and can still show so much appreciation for who I am, and who we have become as a family. Friends like her are special. The kinds of friends you know you will stay in touch with even if you move. And the kinds of friends who you can not talk to for half a year and then still have a good time with when you see them again.
Our upcoming move makes me more aware of the friendships that we have here. Most of them are rather superficial. People I meet in church, have a chat with, but don't really get close to. Some mothers I've talked to when I've been around school, neighbors I greet. Somehow this house has always felt like an imbetween place and I've never really invested in long time relationships. Perhaps that's something I'll focus more on in our new home.
Thankfully we also have a number of friends that don't depend on regular contact. When we get together there is time for sharing and good company. We won't be leaving those behind!
(unfortunately I can't post pictures right now! Otherwise I'd post a charming picture of my neighbors feet..... I really don't know why somebody bothered to photograph them, and I figure this blog is as good a place as any to post it!)
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