Welcome

I just read a post from a fellow blogger who has also just moved and read with envy how she is receiving invites for dinner from people. So then I decided to write a post about the aweful dutch culture, how cold it is, how no neighbors have come by to say Hi, there have been no invites for dinners and how miserable and sucky it is here. BUT then I had another think. Because all the things I have mentioned are absolutely true but there's also another side to the story. The last 2 weeks Hermans brother has driven us to soccer matches, saving us a bike ride through the rain. He has also done shopping with me, saving me another bike ride through the rain. My parents in law have watched the kids on numerous occasions and have also cooked for us. My sister in law watched the kids. My other brother in law cooked us a great meal and helped us figure out our new sound system. We have borrowed my father in laws car so often that I'm feeling awefully guilty. A lady I met once took the effort to come by the next day and give me some welcoming roses. She also invited me to her pottery class, which I will now be attending regularly. Tristans soccer coach really made a big effort to inform the kids correctly about Tristans hemofilia and alopecia which means he is accepted and there are no strange questions asked. Another woman I just met gave me her phone number just in case I wanted to ask her daughter to invite mine to the youth group. So maybe people here are not as forthcoming as I'd like them to be, but I really have no reason to complain. If I make the effort to smile and be friendly, then that is returned to me. So shame on me for feeling envious. I should be counting my blessings!!

3 days in Holland

I've been here for all of three days I think, yep... three days! I have to remind myself because we've done so much in those three days that it feels like three weeks. We arrived in Holland and went to our chaos of a house, slept and then packed vans full of all of our stuff and brought it to our new house. And now we're here and everything has more or less started up.
Herman is at work, the kids are going to school and I'm trying to handle laundry, unpacking boxes and finding my way around here. Actually, one of the first things I did was get a library card and come to the pleasant discovery that they actually do have a number of shelves of english books here. I know it doesn't sound very important, but with my love of books it was a pleasant surprise.
It's hard to believe I left Ethiopia crying only a few days ago. At the airport I started leaking tears all over again. I was glad to let it out though and I feel ok here. I think we will adjust quite well. At least the kids seem to be doing ok up until now, and that is always a big source of peace. Funny thing about being a parent, when your kids are doing ok, then you feel better too!
I'm so glad that we have internet installed, it's a lifeline to the world. And we have a fantastic sound system, thanks to the gift of a family member. It's much more fun to unpack, do dishes and cook while listening to 80's hits on a dolby surround system!
Today I'm heading back to our old house to show the new people around. I hope they will be willing to buy our curtains and floors and kitchen appliances, that way we won't have to remove everything and it will save us a lot of time and hassle. I will use my best sales pitch.

Working in the house

I'm taking a break from working in the house. Things are going pretty well! We've almost finished painting all four bedrooms and are going back this evening to wallpaper Marindas room. She has expensive taste, that girl! She's chosen a very classy grey and black wallpaper. There goes her budget for her room....Our room is shocking because one of the colors we picked turned out much darker than we thought it would be. We're going to see if we can work around it though.
Doing this makes me feel a bit more at home in the house, just a tiny bit more like it's really mine. I still look upon our move with a certain amount of trepidation, it won't disappear no matter what I do. I guess only time will tell if I really will feel like this is a good place to be!
I have a little boy around me now, blowing spit bubbles in my face. I think he needs some attention badly. I will go do my motherly duty :-) and give him some!

Time

It's friday evening, I have done practically nothing here at home while Herman has been busy in our new house. I dragged myself to work, bought some Christmas presents to take with me to Ethiopia, made it home and then pretty much did nothing but vegetate behind a book for the rest of the evening feeling guilty the whole time. I neglected to feed the kids properly, didn't clear up the kitchen, hang up the laundry, or vacuum, or pack boxes, or do anything that might be construed as helpful in this busy time. Shame on me....
We have to leave early tomorrow to start work in our new house. The troops will be waiting for us around 10 and we have an hours drive to get there and we have to stop at some store to get something we forgot on the way in. I should feel pretty harried, but I'm too tired!
But thank God for small mercies, there's no soccer match tomorrow so I can actually help in the house. We have a car, so don't have to take a long trip by train to get there, and preparations are well under way, we might even get more done in our house than I originally thought. On that positive note I will shut down the computer and get my ass (scuse me, butt/derriere/hiney/rear end) to bed.

What to write?

I'm finding it hard to know what to write because so much is going on I don't know where to start and I live in fear of boring my readers. I guess I should go back to my original reason for writing, which was more because I wanted to and not so much because I wanted to "entertain" people. So if I go back my original motivation then I think it will do me good to write about two little hopeful things that happened today.
I got a call from somebody who has a foundation for Third Culture Kids. She's giving it up because she's moving out of the country, and has approached me to see if I can take over some of the work. It sounds like fun, it also sounds like something I would like to do, and am capable of doing, but it's not paid! But I'm going to explore the possibilities anyway and see where we end up. It would be funny if this came back in my life because a number of years ago I was quite involved in the whole missionary kids/third culture kids networks and I had imagined myself doing something quite like this. I'm not very very excited yet, because I'm pretty sure finances are going to be a big problem, but who knows what this will lead to?
And secondly I got a mail from this same person giving me the adres of somebody in this area who was looking for people with a similar background to mine. So I sent off a quick mail. Maybe person will be my first non-family contact in my new home town! You never know. And I found out that there's a womens meeting in this town in january. I've enjoyed them here every now and again, and will go visit it there and maybe mix and mingle and find some new contacts. Hopefully it will not be filled with older ladies in flowered dresses :-)
There, at least I've written down my hopeful things of the day. And I just remembered another one! We had job interviews today and have decided who is going to be my replacement. And I'm quite happy about her! That makes it easier for me to let go of my work, feeling confident that my replacement will be able to carry on what I've started (don't mean to sound arrogant, just conscientious!).
Enough for now. Time to see if I can get rid of this headache!!

What a morning!

My goodness, I'm sitting here behind the computer still panting from a sprint to get ready for a soccer match. We overslept quite badly and were all rushing around to get ready. Then the phone rang and we found out that the opponent had cancelled the game. Now we can all turn back to normal again. I can now get undressed, take a shower, have breakfast and re-start the day in a less frantic state of mind.
I have to laugh though. Things like this often happen. I get into a tizzy and then something comes along and helps me calm down, or things don't turn out as bad as I think. This is a recurring theme in my life. I think I have to experience it until I learn that I don't have to get into a tizzy!

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Herman came home last night from one of his goodbye parties. He had a real good time and I couldn't help but feel jealous. And then I felt bad about myself for feeling jealous! I don't like to think of myself as being a person who can't enjoy other peoples pleasure, but always wants that pleasure for herself. But sometimes that kind of envy does pop up in me. So I look at Herman in different ways. In one way I see that my husband is enjoying himself, receiving a lot of praise for the work he's done. People are telling him they're going to miss him, there are farewell parties being planned, he's getting gifts from colleagues. And he's so calm and comfortable and relaxed and looking forward to the change! And the other part of me looks at all that and then gets sour and miserable wanting it for myself, and wonders if my life will ever pick up........ nasty old part of me!!
I'm thankful I can share it with Herman though and he's very understanding. He realizes that I don't have the same things to look forward to in our new home that he does. I'm so glad he doesn't get upset with me for being envious! Bless him for being big-hearted.

Alternative Date

Herman and I went on an alternative date this evening, to the library! I come there a couple of times a month, but it's not Hermans place to be. But it was an easy option to grab a look at magazines about houses, to see if we could get some good design ideas.....
That totally didn't work! All the magazines were filled with dark greys and browns. Most definately not my choice of style, and not even Hermans style (our styles differ, but we agree on this). It saved us money though, as we were planning to buy some magazines to help inspire us. Now we'll just rely on our own common sense and see where it gets us.

One of the things I'm going to miss about living here is the library. I have this sneaking suspicion that the library in our new town will not carry quite as many english books as I would like. This library doesn't either, but I'm glad for every english book I can get my hands on. Obviously I could buy them, but I consider that to be a pretty big waste of money, seeing as I read so fast. And if I bought every book I ever read, then I'd have to be a millionair :-)

Last summer we were in a monastery with a really old library. We weren't allowed near the books, could only smell (you know that musty, booky smell) and see them from behind a gate. Some had been laid down in a glass case to admire safely. I find the thought of those old old books thrilling. It would give me such a rush to hold one in my hands, realizing that it has been treasured through the centuries. It's like holding a real live bit of history in your hands. Cool!

4 days

We have 4 days in december to prepare the house so we can kind of live in it in january. That kind of puts a strain on us! The house needs painting and new carpeting/floors and of course it's handier to have that done before you put in all the furniture! So we've asked friends and mostly family to give us a helping hand. Hopefully that will work out well.
I can tell the stress is getting to me, lots more headaches than usual the last couple of weeks. This coming week should be pretty quiet though and saturday will be spent in the shops deciding what colors we want to use in our house. That should be fun, but I'm still having an enormously difficult time visualizing myself living in our new house, so picking out colors is really hard! I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this move. Somehow I just can't manage to get really excited about it, mostly just nervous and uptight. And I find myself worrying a lot. Even when things work out pretty well, I find new things to worry about! Find myself thinking of some kind of quote "sufficient to the day is the evil thereof" or something like that. In other words, I shouldn't go "borrowing" trouble when there really is no reason to. Easier said than done I suppose! (well, lo and behold, I just googled my quote and found out it's biblical!)

Be not therefore anxious for the morrow:
for the morrow will be anxious for itself.
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34

New House

Today we're going to pick out tiles for the renovation of the bathroom and toilet in our new house (all lovingly paid for by our rental agency, how cool is that!).
Boring house, isn't it! It certainly needs some extra attention on the outside and the inside. But as you can see, the garden is pretty nice (for dutch standards) and there's more room in the back as well as a shed, and we have a little bit of space around the houset. Our house now only has a garden in the back and the front, nothing on the side because it's stuck in the middle of a row.
We're totally charmed by the orange front door (not!) and especially admire the way the people before us made the house seem so welcoming and open.....
Today I will probably plant some tulips in the front, back and side of the house. I bought these a number of weeks ago because I wanted something to look forward to in the spring. We'll probably also plant an apple or plum tree somewhere in the garden and enclose it so that we can have some more privacy. As well as that we've been checking out the dutch version of e-bay looking for secondhand floors, couches and kitchens. So our house will be new to us, old to others! Limited budgets make for creative home makeovers. I'm starting to look forward to it more and more though, and I'm happy about that!
Come by and visit sometime!

Lesson learned?

It took a drive back to our new town today to remind me of a lesson I had hoped I had learned! The thing is, I was really not too happy about the rental house that we looked at. The smallness and the location didn't agree with me. It felt almost claustrofobic to sign my name to the lease. So I decided I needed to go see the house one more time to see if that would help me change my mind. I asked one of my wisest friends to come with me.
On the drive over I was complaining about how bad I felt about the house, and yet that I also knew it was the only realistic option to take. She reminded me of something our therapist taught us, namely that you can choose to support something even if you don't feel quite comfortable with it. Like with raising kids for example. Herman and I often have different opinions about what is right and was is wrong and what kind of disciplinary actions need to be taken. We used to get into arguments about the differences. I always felt that I needed to agree with a disciplinary action in order to be able to put it into effect. But there's another way out of the dilemma. I can choose to support Hermans choice while not agreeing with it, especially if I see that it's something that's very important to him and not as important to me. Am I making sense? At any rate, it has helped me to look at our differences and how we deal with them with different eyes.
In the case of this house the conclusion is as follows. I choose to support everybodies wish to move to this house, even though it has its disadvantages. I don't have to force myself to like the house as much as the others do, I can still not be very happy with it, but my choice is to go along with this decision. It gives me tremendous peace of mind to do it like this!
So the decision is made, we'll be moving to our new rental house in January. Pictures will be posted as soon as we have decent ones. All offers of help will be greatly appreciated!!

The inlaws

This is the family we'll be moving closer to if we get a house in the new town, which we are kind of aiming for right now. We'll be moving back into the bosom of Hermans family. The kids love the idea of being so close to the grandparents they love so much. Somebody once told me that I was blessed with my parents in law because they have been such a constant factor in my kids lives. I can't help but agree! My parents in law are well known for sticking to their promises, no matter if it inconveniences them at all. I, on the other hand, am notorious for either not knowing my mind or changing it regularly which does not help at all when raising children! Both kids still love going over to their grandparents place so moving closer is an appealing option to them. I am comforted by the thought that although many things will change when we move, the contact with the family will offer a sense of security for all of us. We just have to be careful that the sense of security does not get replaced with a feeling of being stifled!