- oops! my knowledge of dutch is lacking. the word I use in the post below does not mean what i made it out to mean, but I decided to leave it as is anyway!-

Instead of blogging I've been doing more chatting on facebook, catching up with old friends. I'm rude, I just up and ask people what they've been doing and what choices have they made. It's so interesting to see how peoples lives have turned out! I'd love to do some kind of project, get everybody to tell their life story so we can see what we've all become.

I'm not going to the reunion, and I've reconciled to that fact I think. Part of me was terrified of going as well. Because although I have wonderful memories, it's not like going back in time and reliving it all! People change, I've changed. And seeing everybody could also turn out to be painful in a way.

And another reason is the fact that I'm "lichtgeraakt". Lichtgeraakt literally means lightly touched, or impressionable perhaps? I had this feeling that if I did go back I would end up with a huge crush on somebody. Because that's what I did back then, develop huge crushes and date a lot! And I loved it :-). So going back to familiar people would probably bring back familiar feelings....
Have to smile at myself. Here I am, a 37 year old married woman, talking about crushes. It's my inner 18 year old putting in an appearance.

I have noticed though, that people tend te revert to old behavior when put into "old" circumstances. When I go visit my parents I'm a bit of a different person than when I'm here at home. Herman used to regress when we visited his parents, drove me nuts! Until I figured out I was doing it as well ;-). Just today I was talking to a 62 year old friend about this. Even at her age, family habits die hard.
A reunion might just be a feeding ground for regression as well. Though ideally, it could also be a place to see the person you once were, be the person you are now, and a place to treasure memories and build new ones.

Now I wish I was going anyway!

1 reacties:

A Touch of Dutch said...

I've been there more often too, on my Facebook... When I've had free time recently, that is.

I wish you could go to your reunion, regardless. Perhaps it's possible in another few years, and by then you will have a better idea about whether you wish to really go or not :-)

By the way, I really like the new layout! Very 'spring' :-)

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