Discouraged

While driving back home today after a busy day on the soccer field, viewing 5 houses and a birthday visit with Hermans folks, I had decided to write about being discouraged. Mainly the houses that we viewed were disappointing to me. There were three rental houses, only one of which was remotely appealing. One house was an option to buy but was so run-down that it wasn't an option at all, and another house looked really good but is not available for a while and is in a slightly unappealing neighborhood. Herman and I also went shopping in town and all of the little things I usually like about the town suddenly weren't quite so appealing. Instead of viewing things through visitors eyes, I was viewing them as if I already lived there. And I found the town disturbingly country bumpkinish. The town is in the middle of the dutch Bible belt, quite a conservative belt at that, and being in the bosom of the family suddenly made me wonder if that's where I really want to be! In other words, it was a day to make my courage sink down into my shoes (this is a dutch saying which I have translated into english for you!).

So maybe you can imagine my discouragement. I was trying to make deals with God in the car. Along the line of "if we get the rental house here, then that's a sign from God that we should stay here; and if we don't then it's a sign that we should try elsewhere." Very disturbing to be doing that. When I get discouraged I try to avoid decision making and rely on fatalism to get me where I hope fate wants me to be. I forget that I have my own common sense I should be using as well! I also had a little inner conversation with God saying that I could use some encouragement.
Well, He listened! I came home, logged on to facebook and found my brother had dedicated Keith Greens song He'll take care of the rest to me. A more appropriate song I cannot imagine! So that's what I'm going to keep trying, do as much as I can, and trust that God will take care of the rest!! Maybe the heading of this post should be Encouraged instead of Discouraged?