Work

So today at work I told a lot of people that I would be leaving the job in January. It felt pretty good! I got some nice reactions as well, from colleagues who said they'd miss me but also wished me well. I felt especially gratified by my managers reaction. She was clearly not happy with my leaving but also gave me a big hug and wished me the best and said she believed this was a good opportunity for us as a family. She's not a very huggy kind of person so that made me feel good.
I spent the day at work clearing out my e-mails in preparation for leaving (one can never start cleaning up early enough!). Doing so I ran into the huge amount of things that I've done in my years at this job. All kinds of memories came back of the different activities I've either organized or participated in, people I've met and worked with, volunteers I've seen and coached, conversations I've had. Wow! I didn't realize I had done so much! I've been jotting down some notes so that I will be sure not to forget these things when I'm applying for my next job.
Looking back also made me realize how much I've grown. When I came into the company I was trembling from insecurity inside and not totally sure of my worth. These last couple of years I've really had the opportunity to grow as a professional and discover my talents and my shortcomings. I can remember being surprised at the fact that I had something worth mentioning and listening to. Now I think participating in a meeting or coming up with an idea is the most normal thing in the world. I've done some major growing up! It feels good!
I do wonder what the next step will be though. I seem to be out of ambition for the moment, so I hope the right job will come along in the right time. I guess believing that will be part of my proces of trusting that all things will come together for good in the next couple of weeks when our whole lives will be turned upside down.

Me and two of my colleagues

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